Learn to Take Feedback
There are all kinds of things you can do to help accelerate your career and make you successful. You can learn new skills, you can strategically job hop to get salary bumps, you can network and form great relationships that can lead to new opportunities…the list goes on.
But there’s one thing that, above all else, will drive your career success, and that’s being great at accepting feedback. Being teachable. In this newsletter I’ve written about accountability and I’ve written about learning to learn, and being great at accepting feedback is the last piece in closing that loop of self-improvement.
It’s no longer sufficient to just acquire a set of skills and then execute on those skills for the duration of your career. The world is changing faster than ever, and your success will be defined by your ability to keep up with that change. To keep improving, to keep getting better professionally.
In order to do that, you need to know what you need to get better at, what you need to learn next, and feedback is the most useful tool for figuring that out.
Your manager should be giving you feedback regularly, but not all managers are good at this (or in some cases you may not even have a manager - but if you’re self-employed, you have customers, who are just as useful for this purpose). If you’re regularly getting feedback, great. But if you aren’t, solicit it. Ask your manager what they would like to see you improve on, whether it’s something you’re already doing or something new. But don’t stop there. Ask other colleagues you work with regularly, ask customers, ask anyone who you think will have useful insights into how you do your job.
Make sure to phrase it in such a way that encourages useful feedback. Don’t ask “is there anything I can do better?” because that leads to an easy “no, you’re great” answer (and they might think you’re looking for a “no,” when what you’re really looking for is a “yes”). Try phrasing it like this: “I want to keep getting better at my job and I’d like to ask what you think I should work on learning or improving next.”
Hopefully, you’ll get some feedback (if you don’t, especially from your manager, that’s a REALLY bad sign - your manager should be giving you feedback without you asking, but if they don’t do so even when you ask, it’s time to find a new job/new manager, because your current manager isn’t going to help you grow). WRITE IT DOWN. You don’t want to forget it.
What’s really critical is when someone gives you feedback, no matter how it makes you feel, don’t argue with them about it. Don’t get defensive. You can be absolutely certain the feedback is poor or misplaced, but if you argue with them, it’s going to make it harder for them to be willing to go out on a limb and give you feedback in the future. Just accept it. You can certainly ask clarifying questions or discuss it with them, but if you feel the urge to get defensive or argue, a good response is something like “thanks for sharing that with me. I’m going to take some time to reflect on it, but would love to come back and discuss it later on.”
The key thing here is to eat some humble pie, because guess what, you aren’t perfect. Most people think they’re above average at their jobs which is, of course, statistically impossible. But even if you are, that doesn’t mean you don’t have room to improve (of course you do). Even if you vehemently disagree with what someone has offered you, sit with it for a bit. A useful exercise is to pretend they’re right, and think “ok, in a hypothetical world in which the feedback is accurate, what would I change?” Then, consider if, even if the feedback is incorrect, would making that change still be a positive one? If someone calls you a poor communicator even if you’re a strong one, there’s probably still some area of communication in which you can be clearer, better, more empathetic, etc.
If you want to be good at taking feedback, you need to receive it well. You also need to act on it (nobody likes taking the time to think up and offer feedback only to find nothing happens with it), and follow up on it. So, make a feedback document in which you keep all feedback you’ve been given. Every time you get feedback, think about what you will do to act on it, and note that down. Tell the person who gave it to you what you’re planning on doing, because you want to check back in with them later to see if they’ve noticed a difference. “Hey Bob, thanks again for the feedback you gave me around communication. To try and improve, I’ve decided to do X and Y. I’ll come talk to you again in a month or two to see if you feel it’s working, or if I need to try something else.” Then, of course, actually follow up again later and see how they think you’re doing.
The reason this works so well is twofold. First, because you get actionable information from people who are very familiar with your work (and, in the case of management, who have direct authority over your career progression) that will help guide your efforts to improve. That means you’re putting your time and energy towards things that are impactful in the eyes of your colleagues and management. Second, and perhaps less obvious - you’re becoming a person people want to work with. You’re showing humility, you’re showing a growth-oriented mindset, you’re showing openness to self-reflect and willingness to work on getting better at what you do. All of those are huge positives - not only in terms of having strong work relationships (i.e. people who think highly of you and will have your back), but also in terms of how management will perceive you as compared to the rest of the employee pool.
There’s a saying that “feedback is a gift.” It sounds trite. But it really is…if, that is, you’re willing and able to accept it, digest it, and act on it.
The TL;DR you need to take away from this:
Ask for feedback
When you get it, don’t get defensive
Write it down
Develop a plan to act on it
Communicate that plan to the person who gave you the feedback
Follow up in a couple of months to see how they think it’s going
It’s a pretty simple process but an incredibly powerful one that will help accelerate your career.